The Four Questions
Its 8.30am and I am stood by my front door, keys ready, and as my family begin to gather around me, it becomes very clear that what I thought I’d communicated and what was actually heard were two different things…
Communication isn’t just for the so-called ‘gifted’ – it’s essential to being human. As leaders (and just as people,) how do we get better at it? Let’s be real, the message of our lives as followers of Jesus is the most important one we’ll ever share!
So, here are four key things to keep in mind – not just when you’re hosting a service, but when you’re meeting with a team member, leading your family, or simply showing up in your neighborhood.
The Four Questions Every Communicator Should Ask:
First up – Am I clear?
We’ve all been there. Someone delivers an announcement, sits back down, and we’re left thinking… What did they even say? If you don’t want to be that person, get clear!
A simple way to do that? Ask yourself: What do I want people to think, feel, and do?
Next – Am I connected?
Am I connected to what I’m saying? Think about it. I could ask someone else to tell my husband I love him, but let’s be honest, it’s way more powerful when I say it myself. Why? Because I’m connected to it.
You may not have come up with the message you’re sharing, but it’s your responsibility to connect to it so you can carry it well. How do you do that? Ask the “why” behind the “what.” When I understand the why, I can communicate the what with conviction.
Now, let’s ask – Am I connecting?
I’ll never forget the time we arrived in a tiny French village late at night, exhausted. The next morning, starving, we found the campsite’s little shop and a lovely French farmer’s wife outside, smiling (thank goodness). The problem? She spoke zero English. And, fun fact – just saying “egg” in a French accent doesn’t actually work!
The point? Are you speaking in a way your audience understands? Are you using language your kids, your team, or your community can grasp? Connecting isn’t just about words, it’s about tone, storytelling, and even body language. Where you stand, how you stand – should you even be standing?! Always ask yourself: Am I truly connecting?
And finally – Am I carrying?
Spoiler alert: Yes, you are! You are anointed to proclaim the gospel. You are anointed to make disciples. You are anointed to lead in your family.
So often we get caught up in wondering if we’re good enough, skilled enough, gifted enough. But the real question is – Am I willing to get out of the way so Jesus can be glorified? If the answer is yes, then you’re exactly where you need to be.
Ps Lisa Daniels
